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This may be your reaction initially. You may feel let down or hurt, that all of those aspirations you had for them are now apparently gone.
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This is a common question. The best answer to this is another question - "Who would this help?"
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Because of the world we live in, our socialisation, our upbringing, and our religious backgrounds, it may be hard to cope when your child tells you that they are gay or bisexual.
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Being LGBT is not just about physical attraction, but rather, encompasses the same needs all people have, to love another person and be loved in return.
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Sometimes parents think that their child may be LGBT, but because their child has not talked about it themselves, parents do not know how to broach the subject.
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It is normal to want to find someone or something to blame. You may ask yourself, “Did I not love them enough?”, “Did I love them too much?”, “Did their friends influence them?”, “Did they have a bad experience which made this happen?”, "Did an older person encourage them?”
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Fear is a natural reaction. Fear for your child, fear of what people will say, fear of the unknown, fear because things will change.
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Often when a LGBT young person ‘comes out’ to their parents they feel very relieved. Many parents however may feel that their child’s 'burden' or 'problem' has been transferred on to them.
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Many parents with other children frequently ask this question. Your child may have already ‘come out’ to a brother or sister before telling you, so ask your child if any of your other children already know. If they don’t, you should discuss with your child first whether or not to tell the others.
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Sexual orientation is not something we choose, but is rather, something which is formed within us.
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Most of the main Christian denominations, and most other mainstream faiths, have taken the view that sexual activity is only appropriate between members of the opposite sex who are married to each other.
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Your child telling you that they have a partner may be something you dread, as it is all so different from your expectations for their adult life.
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